Ok. So about two hours ago I posted about coming home from the weekend at the beach. Please read that post before this one.
So my roommate got home holding a box of trash bags in his hand like he did me a big fucking favor or something, like he just took credit for saving the world with a vaccine to some disease the somebody else came up with, like I haven't been text messaging him for days about trash bags. Keep in mind that the light bulbs and dryer sheets didn't come with the gift.
Anyway, so he starts taking the trash out. Thank god! I was happy that I didnt have to do it because flight of the concords was coming on and I didn't feel like dealing with house shit. After the first hilarious song about French baguettes ends, I hear my roommate yelling outside. I didnt know why he was yelling. He comes running inside and into the basement. He comes back up with a jug of Clorox Bleach and yells "There's fucking maggots everywhere"
Confused and annoyed, I said "What?"
"Maggots, everywhere" As he ran out the front door.
So I jumped up and ran outside to see what was going on? As it started to rain, I noticed that there were seriously fucking maggots everywhere. They were all over the recently redone brick patio. White wormy fucks all over. Seriously, I have never seen so many maggots in my life. They must have been growing in the trash bag and the weight of them broke through the bottom all over my roommates feet. He started pouring bleach all over the patio and I'm freaking out because I thought he was going to bleach the bricks a new color.
He started hosing down the entire patio while I took out the rest of the trash. So again, I had to take the trash out on Good Roommate Weekend. Fucker. The one good thing is that the keg from the super bowl is finally out by the street with the trash. Obviously going to stay there for a while but its finally made its slug like journey out of the premises.
I am living in a hilarious hell. This was a horrible but fucking hilarious experience. HAHAHAHAHA. I live with the worlds smartest idiot.