Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Holy Shit, My Roommate is Wacky

Hi Everyone,

This is my first blog posting devoted to everyone who is living with or has lived with a "roommate from hell". I truly believe, that my roommate, could be as close to a Ten on the bad roommate scale as possible and I challenge anyone who reads my blog to challenge me with their bad roommate stories.

I'm going to start by giving a background to my story:

About 4 years ago in the middle of the real estate boom , I decided that buying a property would be a great investment. I wanted a townhouse but all of them were a bit over my price range. After failing to get financing from my parents I decided that maybe a smaller condo may be my best option. That week I received a phone call from an old friend who I'd lost touch with during the college years. He was moving back home to go to med school and he was looking for a place to live or a roommate. I sell real estate for a living so he called me to get my advice. He explained how he would love to buy something but after looking online everything that he was interested in was too expensive. A week before I looked at a property that had just hit the market; it was exactly what I wanted. Living in a small studio apartment in the heart of town for a year was starting to annoy me so I thought that maybe it would be nice have a roommate again. Plus, I could split the property with a friend to afford a larger place. After describing the property to him he became interested in the idea and said that we should go look at it. The next day my friend who I hadn't seen in 4 years and I went to look at the townhouse. He flipped over it. While we were in the front private patio he started jumping around like a ballerina and in the most feminine voice said "Oh, wouldn't it be fabulous if we lived together." I instantly remembered how crazy and goofy he was. Long story short: We purchased the place, had a lawyer draw up a partnership agreement and we settled on the house.

I have remembered most of the insane, selfish, dirty/unsanitary and clumsy instances which I will lay out for you in the weeks to come. Don't get me wrong, I like him as a friend but as a roommate, well, you'll see.

Each day, I'm going to update my blog with the wacky and weird things that happen here in this house/hell that Im living in because oh yes, something happens everyday. Some won't seem as funny or as exciting as others but when they occur daily they will start to annoy you and make you laugh just as they do to me.

I'll start you off with one past event now.

1. I get home from a weekend vacation in Vegas and was very worn out. I walk up stairs to my bedroom and see that the bathroom door is wide open. As my eyes start moving up from the floor I first see hair everywhere, then feet, legs, AH!! NAKED ROOMMATE SHAVING HIS BODY ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR. I couldn't believe this was happening. I freaked out and said that he was the strangest person I had ever met. He felt bad and said that he would clean all the hair up. So that next morning I go down to the basement to do some laundry. While I was picking clothes off the floor to drop into the washer I noticed that there was a small amount of pubic type hair on one of my towels. I shivered and wiped it off and continued to load the washer until all of a sudden the last towel unraveled and pubic hair flew everywhere. MOTHER FUCKER. He wrapped all the hair in a towel and put it in the dirty clothes by the washer. I almost lost it and later had a sit down talk with him about being a good roommate.

Stories like this will be posted daily. Enjoy and feel free to write me with words of comfort, competing stories or any type of response that you feel applies


Bad Roomie Club


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