NO MORE MILK!!!!! SHITTTTTT

Woke up this morning and the first thought on my mind was Cereal. Cereally, all I wanted was my almond crunch cereal badly. I ran downstairs and noticed that the box of cereal was left out and open on the kitchen counter top. I knew exactly what to expect next but was optimistic that he didnt finish all the milk. I opened the fridge slowly and went to grab the milk that I had gone out of my way to buy two days earlier. As if in slow motion I grabbed the milk and it weighed close to nothing. He left me with enough milk to fill maybe a quarter of a bowl of cereal. WHAT THE FUCK. How did he manage to just about polish off an entire gallon of milk in one night!!!! Just finish the fucking milk. It would be less annoying. Geezus.

He blamed it on sleeping pills.

Bullshit.

Lost Phone Charger

My roommate talks to his girlfriend on the phone ALOT, (He just got engaged) Understandable, for they are in a long distance relationship.

The problem is that my roommate lost his cell charger again so he needs to borrow my phone at night after his phone dies. He just woke me up by knocking on my door. I asked what he wanted. He opened my door and said " hey dude, can I borrow your phone for 20 minutes?"

"Yeah, but im going to bed soon,."

"ok, ill leave it in the bathroom"

"you, cant. Its my alarm clock "

"ok, I just want to call her to say goodnight and i'll bring it back in"


I mean, its not that big of a deal but little things add up over time. Why dont I ever lose my cell phone charger? Why don't I clog sinks and toilets and the entire streets plumbing? How come I don't leave cereal all over the kitchen floor or forget to take out the trash for 4 months straight?

Who knows?

While im writing this he comes in to tell me that my phone died and that he needs to borrow my charger. Shit. I'm too old for this.

BROWN SPOTS ON THE CARPET

I DONT KNOW HOW HE DID IT BUT THERE ARE THESE DIRTY BROWN SPOTS ALL OVER THE RIGHT SIDE OF HIS ROOM. THE CARPETS LOOK LIKE A DALMATION TOOK A SHIT IN HIS ROOM EVERY DAY FOR A YEAR. I MEAN, YOU OWN THIS HOUSE, HOW COULD YOU HAVE A DALMATION SHIT ON YOUR FLOOR EVERYDAY BRINGING MONEY OUT OF MY POCKET BECAUSE YOU AND I BOTH KNOW THAT THE CARPETS ARE GOING TO BE REPLACED SOON. NOBODY IS GOING TO RENT THIS PLACE WITH UBS ON THE FLOOR. UNIDENTIFIED BROWN SPOTS.

FIRE BURN PART 2

So, I havent rented the house out yet but i'm still trying very hard, especially after two recent roommate situations. The first one I wrote about a month or two ago; Some of you may remember that my roommate left the gas seaping out of the stove all night, Then a few days ago I wrote a entry entitled "Fire Burn" about my roommate and his girlfriend making a fire in the fireplace

I bought a vaccum cleaner yesterday because I didnt feel like spending $110 for the cleaning girls to come over. I noticed something scary while vaccuming the main room where the fireplace is. There was a black thing on the floor near the fireplace. I thought it was a roach or a bug or something but at closer glance it was a chared wood ember, sitting above a burnt indent in the hardwood floors. He must not have noticed that the house almost burnt down while he and his girlfriend watched TV last Sunday. I noticed that he didnt close the fireplace screen door while the fire was burning. Crazy. I need to get a renter in here for peace of mind and to save my investment before he burns it down.

HEATER GUY

I was expecting a heating and air conditioning guy this morning because the heat wasnt working. He called and said he was running a few minutes late so I jumped in the shower in the hopes that I would beat him. He must have rang the door bell while I was in the shower because I heard my roommates door open and felt the vibration of somebody running down the steps. As I left the bathroom, I looked down the steps right when my roommate was letting him in the front door. Once again, my roommate answered the door in nothing but tight ass boxer briefs. I couldnt believe that he did that again and what the hell was the heating guy thinking. The first time was with a Chinese food delivery guy Poor guy.

I was like dude, sorry about my roommate. He just always walks around in those things.

HA.

TANNING GOGGLES

HAHAHAHA IT JUST GETS WEIRDER AND WEIRDER AROUND HERE.


I shouldn't have been snooping through my roommates room but I was for good reason. I was looking for missing socks and underwear.

As I was looking, I saw those plastic tanning goggles that people use in tanning Boothes on his bed. Then I opened a drawer where he keeps his socks and I found another pair of tanning goggles yet none of my socks. Then I went over to his computer desk and opened those drawers to find, what do you know, more tanning goggles. Its crazy because these things are like 10 bucks at the tanning place. Anyway, my mission changed after finding the tanning glasses at his computer desk. It was my goal to see how many pairs he owned. I found 7 pairs in his room.

Crazy.