Settlement and Broken Air

Tonight, while sitting with a friend and drinking scotches at a local steak house bar, I received a CC of an email that my roommate sent to his dad concerning the coming settlement of our house. Keep in mind that there are three names on the deed, me, him and his dad. The house settles on August 15th and we are allowed to live here until the 23rd. He has known these dates for close to 4 months since the house first went under contract. Anyway, the Carbon Copy email to his dad was alerting him that settlement was on the 23rd, which is wrong. Its on the 15th and you would think, that somebody who owns a house, who is settling and making money on that house, would know the date of their own settlement. Listen, he is a busy person; getting married soon, in med school, etc etc.....however, have some respect and know your own settlement date. My friend who was drinking with me tonight even knew that the email and date was wrong before I even said anything. I'm the one who is going to have to set up the closing, and order a power of attorney so his dad can sign for him, but how is this all going to happen if he cant even get the dates straight. Anyway, im drunk, but on top of that email I received tonight when I get home and the air conditioner is broken. Its fucking 80 degress in my room right now. Im piseed. I got home from being away for the weekend on Sunday, and when I got home the house was freezing and thermostat was on 60 degrees and Ive told him in the past that if you keep it that low then its going to break. Well, it broke again but he never realizes that he is doing anything wrong. its absolutely crazy.

BROWN SPOTS ON THE CARPET

I DONT KNOW HOW HE DID IT BUT THERE ARE THESE DIRTY BROWN SPOTS ALL OVER THE RIGHT SIDE OF HIS ROOM. THE CARPETS LOOK LIKE A DALMATION TOOK A SHIT IN HIS ROOM EVERY DAY FOR A YEAR. I MEAN, YOU OWN THIS HOUSE, HOW COULD YOU HAVE A DALMATION SHIT ON YOUR FLOOR EVERYDAY BRINGING MONEY OUT OF MY POCKET BECAUSE YOU AND I BOTH KNOW THAT THE CARPETS ARE GOING TO BE REPLACED SOON. NOBODY IS GOING TO RENT THIS PLACE WITH UBS ON THE FLOOR. UNIDENTIFIED BROWN SPOTS.

CREDIT

SOME OF YOU MAY REMEMBER THAT MY ROOMMATE DESTROYED MY CREDIT BY BEING 30 DAYS LATE ON MORTGAGE PAYMENTS TWICE OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS. WELL, THE BANK TOLD ME THAT IF HE WRITES A LETTER TO THE CREDIT AGENCY SAYING THAT IT WASNT MY FAULT THEN MAYBE THEY WOULD TAKE THE BLIP OFF OF MY REPORT. I HAVE BEEN ASKING HIM TO DO THIS FOR ABOUT THREE MONTHS NOW AND IT STILL HASNT BEEN ACCOMPLISHED. CRAZY. I MEAN, COME ON DUDE, GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS AND HELP A FRIEND FIX HIS CREDIT SO HIS LIFE IS FUCKED BECAUSE OF SOMETHING YOU DID. ARE YOU FREAL?

TANNING GOGGLES

HAHAHAHA IT JUST GETS WEIRDER AND WEIRDER AROUND HERE.


I shouldn't have been snooping through my roommates room but I was for good reason. I was looking for missing socks and underwear.

As I was looking, I saw those plastic tanning goggles that people use in tanning Boothes on his bed. Then I opened a drawer where he keeps his socks and I found another pair of tanning goggles yet none of my socks. Then I went over to his computer desk and opened those drawers to find, what do you know, more tanning goggles. Its crazy because these things are like 10 bucks at the tanning place. Anyway, my mission changed after finding the tanning glasses at his computer desk. It was my goal to see how many pairs he owned. I found 7 pairs in his room.

Crazy.

Where the F is my food

I went food shopping last week for the first time in a while. I basically gave up on food shopping a while back out of the pure frusteration of missing food. So I came home a few hours ago and while I was watching football games I

And yet another fan

So now that my blog is blowing up with a total of three fans, im thinking that I have to go out and buy me some Bling. In the meantime, I dont know what to do because I think that I found somebody who wants to rent the house. A nice woman who will treat the place with some respect and get me out of those high utility bills. Do I really want to move out? What will happen to my blog? My roommate is actually down with moving out. We spoke breifly about it last night. Then he did some weird balerina dance to the bathroom. What a wacko. What should I do? If I had like 1,000 fans then maybe it would be worth staying in hell for another few months just so I could complete my impending book deal with Random House.

I dont know. All I know is that by November 1st I may be moving but dont worry people. I think I have enough stories to last a life time even if I don't continue to live with The Roommate.

One of my fans thinks i'm cool and wants to know more about me. Hmmm. What would you like to know fan?