I wish this was my roommate

Harry Potter is a bad roommate

The Sonic voice

This is what I hear every night even with my door closed. Wait until the end to really here his sonic abilities. Its usually at that level most of the time

I dont have a green roommate

What a waste of money to run the dishwasher with basically nothing in it.

This is crazy

I'm 28 years old and still living like a fraternity guy. I mean, I never thought that my life would turn into this. I really blame it all on the roommate. I'll tell you why.

For a year or two when we first moved in i tried to keep this house up to a cool bachelor standard. Meaning, I liked it to be clean but not too clean and wanted cool furniture and gadgets and such but after years of trying to fight an up hill battle of simply keeping this place mice free and sanitary my legs gave out. I couldnt do it anymore. Now I live like these pics. I would have trash cans but I dont know where my roommate put them.

What's with this shit?

This is one of the first lessons my parents taught me. Open the Cereal boxes properly and then they will be able to close. Well, my roommate never learned this lesson.

Please see pics.

BACK DOOR OPEN

Fucker left the back door open for the 4th time in a month. The funny thing is that he really thinks its me that does it but I will swear on my life its him. Its crazy. How do you leave your own house door wide open in a city?


Oh and congrats to me on my 100th post. Yippy.

Who has the best bad roommate story?

I'm interested in hearing from anybody about their bad roommate stories. Please comment to this blog with your stories and I will post the best one/winner on my next blog entry. We have a panel of three voting on the best story.

Thanks,


R

Space heater

Woke up this morning. Roommate and his fiance were gone already. All the lights were on and there was a space heater blasting toward a pile of clothes in his room. Meanwhile, its close to 70 f'ing degrees out today.

What the?

Roommate and his fiance wake up this morning at the same time as me. I Walk into the hallway near the bathroom to let them know that we had two showing on the house today. Roommate said great. He goes down to the kitchen and comes back upstairs with a trash bag. "Yo, you have any trash in your room?"

"yeah, one sec." I got my trash and dumped it into the bag.

I could tell he was trying extra hard to show he was doing Something helpful, it was either because he was showing off for his girlfriend or because he felt really bad about everything that happened in the last week. Anyway, he takes his trash and dumps it in the bag and then the bathroom trash. While he was doing this I said goodbye and told them that I would be back at 1 pm to show the house.

I came back from my office, parked out front and introduced myself to the prospective tenants as we entered the house. My roommate and his girl were gone at that point. We went up stairs and I noticed the bag of trash that he was dumping was laying in the middle of the hallway basically with trash hanging out of it. Idiot. He dumped the trash and tried to do a good deed but then left the F'ing trash bag filled with the trash in the middle of the Hallway. He forgot to take the trash out. HAHA what an idiot.

HE TOOK MY FUCKING TOOTHPASTE

THIS HAS ALL GONE WAY TOO FAR. LIKE 2 YEARS TOO FAR.

HE WENT TO VISIT HIS GIRLFRIEND UP IN NYC AFTER WORK TODAY. BEFORE HE LEFT, HE WAS SUPPOSED TO CLEAN HIS PILES OF SMELLY ASS CLOTHES OUT OF THE LAUNDRY ROOM AND CLEAN UP AFTERWARD FOR THE PEOPLE WHO WERE COMING TO LOOK AT THE HOUSE. AS SOME OF YOU KNOW, I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO RENT THIS HOUSE FOR SOME TIME NOW. AFTER 5 WEEKS HE FINALLY MOVED HIS PILES OF SHIT BUT DIDNT CLEAN UP. I WAS JUST HAPPY HE WAS GONE FOR A NIGHT then........

I CAME UP STAIRS TO GET READY FOR BED LIKE THE GOOD WORKING CHAP THAT I AM BUT WAIT! WHERE'S THE TOOTHPASTE I BOUGHT A FEW DAYS BEFORE?????? LET'S ALL GUESS TOGETHER?

YEP. BOYS AND GIRLS, THE FUCKING ROOMATE TOOK MY MOTHER FUCKING TOOTHPASTE. WHO THE FUCK IS THAT SELFISH? HIS GIRLFRIEND DOESNT HAVE TOOTHPASTE??

ALL I KNOW IS THAT EVERYDAY OF MY LIFE SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAPPENS AND ITS NOT RIGHT. SO IM TAKING A VOTE. SHOULD I ATTEND HIS BACHELOR PARTY AND WEDDING?? I'M STARTING TO QUESTION THE FRIENDSHIP AND WHETHER OR NOT I SHOULD SPEND ONE MORE DOLLAR ON ANYTHING ASSOCIATED WITH A FRIEND ON THIN ICE.

GROCERIES FOR THE ANIMAL KINGDOM

So everyone knows that my roommate broke the new vacuum machine I bought. He assured me that he would go out and buy a new one on his next day off. Well, he called into the hospital on his next day off and the vacuum never came. Last night he said, "Yo, my dad is coming over tonight or tomorrow to bring groceries and maybe a vacuum. Ok?"

"um ok" What did he want me to say to that.

He had a bag packed and said that he was headed back to the hospital.

His dad never showed up last night. This afternoon I went out the front door to go for a run and noticed that there were about 7 bags of groceries just sitting there. His dad must have had trouble getting into the house so he just left the groceries on the stoop. Meanwhile there were squirrels everywhere. I must have gotten there at the right time because it didn't look like they ate any of the food. They were def about to tear shit up. Anyway, where is my roommate and what were they going to do if I wasn't home? It would have been another front yard disaster. Cats, squirrels and possums would have had a freakin field day. GEEZUS.

To makes things worse. I was the one who had to unpack all of the groceries and put everything away making sure that animals didn't rip through the food. There was a vacuum in one of the bags but obviously any vacuum that can fit in a grocery bag isnt nearly a replacement for the one I bought and he broke. He got a dust buster.

Just another thing I didn't want to do or want to think about.

WHY GOD?

How did he already break the semi nice, brand new vacuum cleaner that I bought about a month ago! What the Fuck? I went to clean the house today and it wouldnt go on. He said, oh yeah, I forgot to tell you, I broke the vacuum machine. I ALMOST SERIOUSLY LOST IT. NEVER BEEN SO CLOSE TO GOING MAD. I KNEW I WAS CLOSE BECAUSE NEVER IN MY LIFE HAVE I BEEN RIGHT BETWEEN CRACKING UP AND KILLING SOMEBODY. THATS SOMETHING MAD PEOPLE DO? I DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO DO BUT IT FELT AS IF MY HEAD WAS GOING TO POP THE FUCK OFF, SO I WENT TO THE KITCHEN AND SMASHED A GLASS IN THE SINK. People who know me can vouch that I do not have an anger problem, but he seems to have pushed me towards the edge of sanity.

"How? You are a nightmare. I swear, I freaking nightmare. How the hell did you break it"

"I accidentally ripped a piece off the back of it. "

So now, we have a broken sewer pipe from our house to the street, a broken vacuum and new carpets. Obviously I am the one who is arranging all of this work to be done; with a grand total of $4500.

This place is as close to hell as one can get. Please somebody rent this house, Please.

WHY GOD?