Vegas and Racoon strikes again

Nothing eventful with the roommate in Vegas. Even if anything happened, I wouldnt have remembered so I will give other stories.

I went food shopping after Vegas and spent about 200 dollars on food. I got home at around 11 PM and made a really late dinner. After I ate, I went upstairs, showered to rid myself of gym filth and then went to bed to watch some TV.

As expected, I hear the Racoon's bedroom door open and then footsteps down the stairs to the kitchen. I heard things being unwrapped and banging noises and microwave beeping and doors opening and closing. This went on for about 10 minutes and then footsteps back upstairs to the sound of a closing bedroom door.

I got up to go to the kitchen to see what damage had been incurred. I opened the cabinet where I put the snacks and realized that everything had been opened. I bought a ton of snacks and three packs of these crackers that I like but also three different flavors of them and they had ALL had been opened but in the most annoying way. Everything I bought would surely be moldy or stale within two days. He ripped these snacks open with wild abandon, unlike a normal human who knows food goes bad. It was like he was at a restaurant and couldnt decide on something so he ordered the sampler but ate a tiny piece of everything in the sampler and then moved on like a bear invading a cabin.

What the F dude?

White Trash Buddha

So early this morning at 7 AM, I will be on a flight to Vegas where I along with 12 other friends will be celebrating my roommates bachelor party. I promise that I'll bring back many postable stories about the trip and my roommate follies. For those of you who actually read this blog, I just want to let you know, that the house is definitely, finally sold and the roommate saga will officially end at the end of August. I should have at least 2 to 3 more entries by then .

One more thing. I was a little too excited to go to vegas earlier and I did something stupid. I decided to trim my chest hair but I guess I am no barber because I couldnt make it look even and as I trimmed it started looking worse and worse so there was only one last thing to do. Shave. I shaved my chest but then realized how stupid it looked with a bare chest and a hairy stomach so there was only one last thing to do, Shave my stomach. You have no idea. I look like white trash Buddha. There is no way my shirt is coming off at the pool. Fuck, im not young anymore. I guess you grow body hair for a reason. To cover the parts that got fat or ugly.

I look like white fucking trash Buddha. Its ok. I guess I'll just have to G.U.E at the pool or bars or Go Ugly Early.

END OF AN ERA

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. THE HOUSE IS OFFICIALLY SOLD. WOW. ITS THE END OF AN ERA. I CANT BELIEVE THAT I'VE BEEN IN THIS HOUSE FOR ALMOST 5 YEARS. WHO SAYS THAT TIME DOESNT FLY WHEN YOUR ROOMMATE MAKES YOU CRAZY. ANYWAY, ITS TIME TO MOVE ON AND FIND A NEW PLACE TO LIVE WITHOUT A ROOMMATE. LET ME LIFE BEGIN.

I'm happy that my roommate and I are still friends and that we are going to have a great time in Vegas on his bachelor party but holy shit, I almost killed him multiple times. A MESSAGE TO THE ROOMMATE. I KNOW YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS BLOG AND I HOPE THAT YOU REALIZE THAT YOU ARE A SCUMBAG. hahahahaha.

peace out.

GREAT MOVIE kind of

Two Offers

Ok. So I haven't posted for a while because my roommate was up in NYC with his fiance and I was busy trying to sell this house. I mean, I must have done a pretty good job because I have two offers coming in tonight and possibly a third. So this blog will definitely be coming to a real end soon. I want all my readers to know that I am pushing to turn this into a movie even if I have to make it myself.

Peace

Movie Studios

Still have a for sale sign on my house but hopefull pretty soon this bad roommate blog will be over. In the meantime, I want all you movie studios out there to know that I can see that you have been viewing this blog on my site meter and am ready to star in and help write the film because only I have witnessed first hand how bad The Roommate is and have many stories that have yet to be posted because they are simply being withheld to be used as leverage.

Who will be the first to make me an offer to option my blog?


Only time will tell.

Bag of Potatoes

I just found a bag of Potatoes in a kitchen cabinet that is rarely used. Its really one of those junk type drawers that all kitchens seem to have. Anyway, I pulled the bag that was stuffed in there out and noticed that there was something unlike I have ever seen in my life growing on these red potatoes.

There were these thorny, white, thick horns popping out of all of the potatoes and they were so overgrown that they pierced the plastic bag and started growing around it. It was truly odd and only my roommate could somehow create a new potato virus/monster. The tentacles were stuck to the inside of the cabinet and looked like octopus tentacles. Its so weird and I think that a scientist should look at this because surely some new vaccine could be made from this new species or a new super virus is living in my house.