LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. THE HOUSE IS OFFICIALLY SOLD. WOW. ITS THE END OF AN ERA. I CANT BELIEVE THAT I'VE BEEN IN THIS HOUSE FOR ALMOST 5 YEARS. WHO SAYS THAT TIME DOESNT FLY WHEN YOUR ROOMMATE MAKES YOU CRAZY. ANYWAY, ITS TIME TO MOVE ON AND FIND A NEW PLACE TO LIVE WITHOUT A ROOMMATE. LET ME LIFE BEGIN.
I'm happy that my roommate and I are still friends and that we are going to have a great time in Vegas on his bachelor party but holy shit, I almost killed him multiple times. A MESSAGE TO THE ROOMMATE. I KNOW YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS BLOG AND I HOPE THAT YOU REALIZE THAT YOU ARE A SCUMBAG. hahahahaha.
peace out.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Two Offers
Ok. So I haven't posted for a while because my roommate was up in NYC with his fiance and I was busy trying to sell this house. I mean, I must have done a pretty good job because I have two offers coming in tonight and possibly a third. So this blog will definitely be coming to a real end soon. I want all my readers to know that I am pushing to turn this into a movie even if I have to make it myself.
Peace
Peace
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Movie Studios
Still have a for sale sign on my house but hopefull pretty soon this bad roommate blog will be over. In the meantime, I want all you movie studios out there to know that I can see that you have been viewing this blog on my site meter and am ready to star in and help write the film because only I have witnessed first hand how bad The Roommate is and have many stories that have yet to be posted because they are simply being withheld to be used as leverage.
Who will be the first to make me an offer to option my blog?
Only time will tell.
Who will be the first to make me an offer to option my blog?
Only time will tell.
Bag of Potatoes
I just found a bag of Potatoes in a kitchen cabinet that is rarely used. Its really one of those junk type drawers that all kitchens seem to have. Anyway, I pulled the bag that was stuffed in there out and noticed that there was something unlike I have ever seen in my life growing on these red potatoes.
There were these thorny, white, thick horns popping out of all of the potatoes and they were so overgrown that they pierced the plastic bag and started growing around it. It was truly odd and only my roommate could somehow create a new potato virus/monster. The tentacles were stuck to the inside of the cabinet and looked like octopus tentacles. Its so weird and I think that a scientist should look at this because surely some new vaccine could be made from this new species or a new super virus is living in my house.
There were these thorny, white, thick horns popping out of all of the potatoes and they were so overgrown that they pierced the plastic bag and started growing around it. It was truly odd and only my roommate could somehow create a new potato virus/monster. The tentacles were stuck to the inside of the cabinet and looked like octopus tentacles. Its so weird and I think that a scientist should look at this because surely some new vaccine could be made from this new species or a new super virus is living in my house.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
HE SHIT ON THE PLUMBERS
This is unbelievable. This story should be a NYTimes Best Seller in itself.
So the house needed a brand new sewer line which is not a cheap undertaking. The sinks in the house were blocked up for almost a month and it smelled so bad that my friends came in the house, started cracking up and then ran out.
Finally, the plumbers came out on a nice sunny day and started digging two 11 foot holes, one in the front patio and one out at street level. Digging those holes was not an easy feat. It took them most of the day.
At around 1:30 I came home from an appointment, set my lap top up outside where they were doing work and started doing some work while watching the plumbers progress. I touched some type of sludge on the outside table so I went back inside to the kitchen to wash off what could have been sewer line slime off of my hand. Right as I turned the sink on and started washing one of the plumbers came in and said, "excuse me, can you please try to limit the water use while the work is being done." I said, sure, sorry, but was thinking, wow, water must really leave the house to the sewer quickly. I finished drying my hands and walked back out to the front door but heard water running upstairs. I sat and listened and it didnt shut off. It sounded as if a toilet was left running. I went upstairs to check and realized that my roommates bedroom door was closed. Its never closed unless he is home and he is rarely home during the day. I called out his name and he responded "Yeah?" So he was home.
"did you use the toilet?"
"Yeah?" he responded"
"first of all, you left the handle up and second, (I started yelling) "Do you not remember that you just paid close to 2 grand to have plumbers here all day?"
He responded, "Oh shit!, I took a crap"
I said " Are you a fucking retard? How the fuck are you so stupid"
Long story short, I knew the water from the kitchen sink couldnt have made it out of the house that quickly, and no wonder the plumber seemed so pissed. They were in the 11 foot deep holes at the same time my roommate shit. He shit on the plumbers. What an idiot.
So the house needed a brand new sewer line which is not a cheap undertaking. The sinks in the house were blocked up for almost a month and it smelled so bad that my friends came in the house, started cracking up and then ran out.
Finally, the plumbers came out on a nice sunny day and started digging two 11 foot holes, one in the front patio and one out at street level. Digging those holes was not an easy feat. It took them most of the day.
At around 1:30 I came home from an appointment, set my lap top up outside where they were doing work and started doing some work while watching the plumbers progress. I touched some type of sludge on the outside table so I went back inside to the kitchen to wash off what could have been sewer line slime off of my hand. Right as I turned the sink on and started washing one of the plumbers came in and said, "excuse me, can you please try to limit the water use while the work is being done." I said, sure, sorry, but was thinking, wow, water must really leave the house to the sewer quickly. I finished drying my hands and walked back out to the front door but heard water running upstairs. I sat and listened and it didnt shut off. It sounded as if a toilet was left running. I went upstairs to check and realized that my roommates bedroom door was closed. Its never closed unless he is home and he is rarely home during the day. I called out his name and he responded "Yeah?" So he was home.
"did you use the toilet?"
"Yeah?" he responded"
"first of all, you left the handle up and second, (I started yelling) "Do you not remember that you just paid close to 2 grand to have plumbers here all day?"
He responded, "Oh shit!, I took a crap"
I said " Are you a fucking retard? How the fuck are you so stupid"
Long story short, I knew the water from the kitchen sink couldnt have made it out of the house that quickly, and no wonder the plumber seemed so pissed. They were in the 11 foot deep holes at the same time my roommate shit. He shit on the plumbers. What an idiot.
Friday, April 4, 2008
What and idiot.
He cooked a full dinner and then went up to his room and never came back down to eat the frozen pizza and frozen dinner that he microwaved.
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