HEATER GUY

I was expecting a heating and air conditioning guy this morning because the heat wasnt working. He called and said he was running a few minutes late so I jumped in the shower in the hopes that I would beat him. He must have rang the door bell while I was in the shower because I heard my roommates door open and felt the vibration of somebody running down the steps. As I left the bathroom, I looked down the steps right when my roommate was letting him in the front door. Once again, my roommate answered the door in nothing but tight ass boxer briefs. I couldnt believe that he did that again and what the hell was the heating guy thinking. The first time was with a Chinese food delivery guy Poor guy.

I was like dude, sorry about my roommate. He just always walks around in those things.

HA.

TANNING GOGGLES

HAHAHAHA IT JUST GETS WEIRDER AND WEIRDER AROUND HERE.


I shouldn't have been snooping through my roommates room but I was for good reason. I was looking for missing socks and underwear.

As I was looking, I saw those plastic tanning goggles that people use in tanning Boothes on his bed. Then I opened a drawer where he keeps his socks and I found another pair of tanning goggles yet none of my socks. Then I went over to his computer desk and opened those drawers to find, what do you know, more tanning goggles. Its crazy because these things are like 10 bucks at the tanning place. Anyway, my mission changed after finding the tanning glasses at his computer desk. It was my goal to see how many pairs he owned. I found 7 pairs in his room.

Crazy.

Where the F is my food

I went food shopping last week for the first time in a while. I basically gave up on food shopping a while back out of the pure frusteration of missing food. So I came home a few hours ago and while I was watching football games I

Baseball Game

Sitting at my desk tonight still trying to learn about finance stuff while watching the Phillie's game my roommate comes in with pajama pants, no shirt to cover his hairy, sonic boom chest and carrying his own chair. He sits uncomfortably close to me and begins to watch the game without speaking a word. When I say close, I mean like we are at a real baseball game close. I said, " Uh, dude. Why did you just sit so close to me?" I am comfortable with my manhood but its just weird that he brought a chair into my room and placed it so close to me and with no shirt on. Its hilariously bazaar. I go back to work and he says right behind me, "yo, man.....its just me and you....What do you want to do about it?" "Get out of my room. You are annoying me." "Dude, are you just jealous that im going to be a doctor and you just a salesman?" "No, not at all, I just think that you are being a little too gay for me right now and you need a time out, A long one...Maybe like 5 years. " "Yeah, I do need a long one, is yours long?" " GET OUT OF MY ROOM"

NAIL CLIPPING

Im sitting in my room at my desk trying to read about stock valuation while my roommate clips his nails in the bathroom. I swear from the sound of it, if you didnt know him and have never seen him you would think he has 12 arms and 8 legs.

After he is finished he will go to his room and use his ikea mesh trash can as a nailfile.

shit close call. While I was typing that he came in with the trash can and I couldnt minimize the screen. This blog was almost revealed

TV

My roommate is watching TV right now and I'm almost sure that the entire street can hear it.

MISSING SHIRT. NO MISSING PANTS

A FEW MINUTES AGO I WAS LOOKING AROUND MY HOUSE FOR A PARTICULAR SHIRT THAT I WANTED TO WEAR TO DINNER WITH MY FAMILY. I COULDNT FIND IT SO OF COURSE I AUTOMATICALLY THOUGHT THAT MY ROOMMATE WORE MY NEW SHIRT. I'M SURE YOU WOULD TOO. WHILE BEGINING TO FREAK OUT I DECIDED TO CHECK HIS ROOM TO SEE IF HE HAD IT SOMEHWERE. MEANWHILE, HIS ROOM IS LITERALLY PILES OF CLOTHES RIGHT NOW, IM NOT JOKING, HIS ENTIRE ROOM IS COVERED IN PILES OF CLOTHES TO THE POINT WHERE YOU CANT SEE THE FLOOR.
I STARTED FLIPPING THROUGH THE HANGING CLOTHES IN HIS CLOSET AND WHAT DO I FIND? NOT THE SHIRT I WAS LOOKING FOR BUT THE TWO PAIRS OF VERY EXPENSIVE DRESS PANTS THAT I HAVE BEEN BLAMING MY DRY CLEANERS FOR LOSING FOR ABOUT 5 MONTHS NOW. WHAT THE FUCK. I ASKED HIM MULTIPLE TIMES OVER THE PAST FEW MONTHS IF HE HAD SEEN THEM. OBVIOUSLY, HE SAID NO.

WHAT A DICK. SO I HAVE BEEN STUCK WEARING WEARING PLEATED PANTS TOWARDS THE END OF THE WEEK BECAUSE OF HIM. I HATE PLEATS AND GIRLS DONT LIKE THEM EITHER

I FINALLY FOUND THE SHIRT IN MY DIRTY CLOTHES.