SUCCESS! and short new roommate info

I RECIEVED ANOTHER POST FROM SOMEBODY I DONT KNOW TODAY. I APPRECIATE THE POST. ITS VERY COMFORTING KNOWING THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO FEEL FOR ME AND SUPPORT MY CAUSE. I MAY START A NON PROFIT FOR PEOPLE LIKE ME.


So, I am showing the house today to a prospective tenant. My roommate knew that he had to help clean the house enough to be presentable. I woke up this morning to the typical slamming bathroom cabinets and hairdryer and noticed that he had cleaned his room. Thank God. I went downstairs and realized that his room was the only thing he had cleaned. He left dishes in the sink plus left blankets and pillows on the couches that his friend who slept over last night used. On his way out of the house he had the F'ing nerve to say "my room sure looks a lot better than yours." First off. I woke up later and didn't get to cleaning it yet. Two is, I'm the one showing the F'ing house, not him. I have to come home from work to do this. He wouldn't do that. Also, I am the one who had to remind him over and over again to clean. PLEASE GOD, PLEASE LET THIS PERSON LIKE THE HOUSE SO I CAN MOVE OUT.

PEE SMELL

CLEANING SERVICE WAS HERE THREE DAYS AGO. ROOMMATE GOT HOME LAST NIGHT. NOW, ALL OF A SUDDEN, THE TOILET VICINITY SMELLS LIKE PISS. WHAT THE F

YOU ARE 28 YEARS OLD. MAKE IT IN THE BIG HOLE IN FRONT OF YOU.

DOES ANYONE THINK THAT I SHOULD MAKE MY ROOMMATE PAY FOR 75 % OF THE LAST TWO ELECTRIC BILLS?

SMELL YOURSELF TO SLEEP?

ROOMMATE AND GIRLFRIEND ARE HERE. THEY JUST WENT TO SLEEP. MY ROOMMATE SPRAYED COLOGNE ON HIMSELF THEN ENTERED HIS ROOM AND SHUT THE DOOR BEHIND HIM.

Cologne?

HOUSE IS CLEAN BUT TOOTHPASTE IS GONE

GOT HOME LAST NIGHT FROM MY LAST MINUTE LA TRIP. THAT PLACE IS SWEEEET! I was very upset being back and the last thing I wanted was to see my roommates pig mess. I was surprised to come home to an extremely clean house, then remembered that I booked cleaning ladies before I left. My roommate must have let them in. Anyway, I woke up and went to brush my teeth. I had two tubes of toothpaste in my medicine cabinet. They are both gone. What the F. I just want to be a normal 28 year old and be able to brush my teeth when I want to brush my mother F'ing teeth....... damn it!
Now I have to leave my house with my mouth smelling like his room.

SICK FRIEND

MY COLLEGE FRIEND ANDREW WAS IN TOWN FOR HIS BROTHERS WEDDING. HE STAYED AT MY PLACE WEDNESDAY NIGHT; HE HAD AN EARLY FLIGHT TO LA THE NEXT MORNING AND I SAID THAT I WOULD DRIVE HIM TO THE AIRPORT. WE HUNG OUT FOR A LITTLE AND THEN AS A JOKE I DECIDED THAT I WOULD NAME MY OWN PRICE AT PRICELINE.COM. WELL, IT TOOK MY PRICE AND NOW I AM IN LA AT THE W HOTEL. THAT'S NOT WHY I AM WRITING.

I HAVE TALKED ABOUT HOW MY ROOMMATE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THERMOSTATS AND HOW OUR ELECTRIC BILLS ARE THROUGH THE ROOF. $ 450 last month, a slight improvement this month to $399. Anyway, when I arrived in LA, I couldn't find my friend because he lost his phone at the airport that morning. I took a later flight. So I was forced to stay at the Beverly Hilton last night which wasn't too shabby but also not free like his hotel would have been. I finally found my friend this morning and he was sick as a dog. He said, dude, you need to get out of that house. Your roommate got me sick. The house was so cold. I have been coughing and puking since I got here. I really think I caught pneumonia in your house.

If there is a Pneumonia outbreak in the world it probably started in my house. I think I saw he penguin the other day.

FICA SCORE KILLA

THE ROOMMATE CREDIT KILLER ALMOST STRIKES AGAIN TODAY.

TODAY, WHILE WORKING FROM HOME, MY ROOMMATE COMES BACK TO THE HOUSE FROM SCHOOL. HE STARTED PACKING A BAG SO I ASKED HIM WHERE HE WAS HEADED. HE AND A FRIEND WERE GOING TO ATLANTIC CITY TO PLAY IN A POKER TOURNAMENT.

"COOL, MAYBE I'LL MEET YOU DOWN THERE LATER"

I JUMPED INTO THE SHOWER BECAUSE I HAD AN APPOINTMENT. WHILE SOAPING UP I HEAR MY ROOMMATE YELL, "YO, I NEED TO ASK YOU FOR A HUGE FAVOR." I SIGHED HEAVILY KNOWING THAT I WOULDN'T LIKE THE REQUEST. IT WAS EITHER THAT HE NEEDED A RIDE SOMEWHERE OR HE NEEDED MONEY.

"WHAT'S THAT?"

"I NEED TO BORROW LIKE TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS FOR TONIGHT"

A GRUNT AND ANOTHER SIGH CAME OUT OF ME. "WHY?"

" BECAUSE i JUST CHECKED MY ACCOUNT AND I ONLY HAVE 30 DOLLARS IN THERE."

I IMMEDIATELY LOST MY SHIT, NOT BECAUSE HE NEEDED MONEY BUT BECAUSE LAST MONTH HE F'D MY CREDIT BECAUSE HIS CHECK BOUNCED FOR THE MORTGAGE AND I HAD JUST FED-EX'D SEPTEMBERS PAYMENT YESTERDAY.

"DUDE, FIRST OFF, ITS NOT MY JOB TO BAIL YOU OUT, SECOND, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING TO HAPPEN WITH THE MORTGAGE PAYMENTS I JUST SENT IN?

"I CHECKED, THEY ALREADY WITHDREW IT."

"WELL, THAT'S CURIOUS CONSIDERING I JUST SENT IT YESTERDAY AFTERNOON. WHY ARE YOU LYING, YOUR GOING TO FUCK MY CREDIT UP FOR GOOD AND I'M GOING TO KILL YOU.

HE SAID "SHIT" AND THEN I HEARD THE FRONT DOOR TO THE HOUSE SHUT. i REALLY HOPE HE IS GOING TO RESOLVE THIS TODAY.

TELEVISED BOXING MATCH

THE HOUSE WAS EMPTY THIS WEEKEND. I WENT TO THE BEACH AND MY ROOMMATE WENT AWAY WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND. I GOT HOME BEFORE HIM AND WANTED TO START PREPARING FOR THE NEW WEEK BY DOING SOME LAUNDRY. IN THE WASHER THERE WERE WET CLOTHES THAT SMELLED BADLY OF MILDEW AND ALSO HAD WEIRD YELLOW STUFF ALL OVER THEM. I ALSO NOTICED THAT THEY WERE ALL MY CLOTHES AND TOWELS. WHY HE DECIDED TO DO A LOAD OF MY LAUNDRY AND NOT DRY THEM ELUDES ME BUT TO MAKE IT WORSE, HE DECIDED TO WASH A PACKET OF VITAMINS WITH MY CLOTHES, HENCE THE YELLOW STUFF. UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE.

NOW I BET YOU ARE THINKING THAT HE MUST HAVE DONE THIS ON PURPOSE. I DONT THINK SO BUT SOMETIMES I THINK THAT HE KNOWS ABOUT THIS BLOG. MY FRIENDS THINK THAT THIS BLOG WILL LEAD TO A MUCH ANTICIPATED BOXING MATCH WHICH WILL BE TELEVISED